I resigned from my full time job.
What a weird feeling. What a strange thing to say. I’ve resigned from jobs before but never without having another job waiting or being enrolled in school full time. My friend Jenni asked me to share how I came to this decision so here it is.
I’ve had the same job for nearly 4 ½ years and the same “career” for nearly 14 years. My work at the not for profit was something that I chose to do from a very young age, it has been my dream job, something I considered to be my calling.
When Jacob and I started our family several years ago, I never really considered staying at home as a mom and when people suggested it as an option, I laughed at them. First of all, I loved my job and second of all, like many of you, we are a dual income family out of necessity.
Scout was born last summer and for the first time I started counting the emotional, physical and economical cost of commuting 45 minutes each way (while my job was very flexible with weekday hours and the ability to work from home a bit, I often made the 45 minute each way commute TWICE in a day). While I once made 100% of Lulu’s baby food, I found that we were spending more time eating McDonalds pancakes and Happy Meals than we were spending at home at the dinner table.
Our home was a mess-laundry never made it from the couches to the dressers, it was like our couches WERE the dresser drawers. Dishes would pile up (from what, I don’t know. It’s not like I can say I ever cooked), I was making emergency runs to Target for forgotten shoes once we got to day care… The list of failures and survival methods goes on and on. Life has been a chaotic mess and I’ve been absent from much of my life over the past year or so, just doing what I have to do to get through the day and make sure everyone is alive at the end. I don’t want to live that way. I want to have time and energy for my kids, I want to teach them things and I want to learn from them.
Meanwhile, part of my life was going into this little website. It has been a great outlet for my creative energy because my physical energy just hasn’t been there. It represents one of my deepest desires to spend time with my family, to be a part of the community and the goings on in our world. It fulfills my need to mobilize and encourage others and make a perceived difference.
Indy with Kids has brought several opportunities into my life that have allowed me to make a tiny bit of money which when added to all of the savings of gas, lunches out, hurried dinners out, wardrobe, emergency shoe shopping and other purchases that come from being unprepared, I believe that the financial side of leaving will work out. The Queen of Free had great advice for me when I sought her wisdom, she advised me to “run my household like a business.” I’ll be cutting out expenses we don’t need, finding creative ways to stretch the things we have and searching for opportunities to earn what I need.
Staying at home or working from home isn’t the answer for every parent and it wasn’t even the answer for me until now. Our family’s needs and desires changed. There’s no debate here when it comes to other moms and dads and the decisions they make. I’m fortunate that our needs and the timing are working out. During this season in our life, this is a gift that I’m going to run with. A year or two ago, staying at home wasn’t in the cards nor would I have felt it was a gift for our family at that time. It’s not that I’ll never have to leave my kids or be away from them, there are plenty of things coming up on the horizon that WILL take me away from them, I’m just looking for a better balance.
Thank you for all of your love and support as I enter this new calling of motherhood and contract work.