10 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive…After Kids

Has your relationship with your partner been compromised since having kids? When you have kids, time is a scarcity. It’s time to reconnect –  Indy with Kids has got you! Check out these ways, both during family time and when you are alone:

Adult talk

When the kids are not around, try not to talk about them. Turn off the TV and phones and focus on yourselves. Take time to reconnect and share each other’s dreams. Listen without interrupting, and keep the conversation positive. Say what you want your partner to know – don’t assume he does know.

Date Night

O.K. – so we all talk about this, but do you really follow through? Go on a regular date. Take a class or do an activity that you both enjoy, or take turns going to an event that your partner likes and wants to share with you. You are showing you care about him, and who knows – you may end up enjoying it too! Check out this list for inspiration!

Random Acts of Love

Small interactions can be so meaningful in a relationship. Have a ritual you do together, like reading a poem or story together or holding hands at night before you go to sleep. Don’t forget to hug, kiss and flirt. When the kids see you caring for each other, they will know that is what a good relationship should be like.

Bow Chicka Wow Wow

Get a sitter (it’s worth the money) and have connected intimate relations. Do whatever you both enjoy – give each other a massage, watch a steamy movie, wear lingerie, light candles, or role play. If the sitter is at your house, get a hotel room. If Nana or your regular babysitter aren’t available, take the kids to Village Playcare or Kidz Depot.

Reminisce and Look Forward

Reconnect with couple friends you have lost touch with. Get dressed up and reenact your first date. Talk about the qualities that made you fall in love. Look at old photos, emails or videos – whatever you have that tells your story. Discuss where you are now and what the future holds, both together and as a family.


Share a funny story that happened to you today, a joke you heard or watch a comedy. Play a fun game with the family that you all really enjoy. Go somewhere like Red Curb Improv Comedy – they have both family PG and adults only shows. Or go do a fun “kid” activity that you can all do together, like jumping at Sky Zone.

Help Each Other

We get so busy that sometimes we forget everything the other person does for us. Remember your partners needs are as important, if not more so, as your kids and work. Talk about stresses each other is facing, and how you can help ease the burden. These sometimes weigh one or both partners down and decrease emotional and physical intimacy.

Planned Time Alone

Take a vacation alone as a couple, or plan a day alone. When money or time are tight, even an hour at home with a special dinner can help you both recharge. If you have to (or want to) include the whole family, pick a place that will be good for you both you and the kids like this trip to St. Louis.

Use Technology

Write loving emails. Declare your love on social media – that’s the fastest way to talk your partner up to a wide audience and it may make him feel good. Send sexy texts early in the day to keep your partner thinking about you all day, then reap the rewards when the kids go to bed. Get professional boudoir pics taken just for your significant other.

Take good care of yourselves

I am guilty of this and I’m sure many of you are too – everything comes first except you. But when we eat right and exercise regularly, we feel better about ourselves in and out of our relationships. You can even bond over working out together – like maybe have the same goal of training for a 5K. If you need a fitness center that provides child care, be sure to try some of these.

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