We’ve all been there. You’re with your kids, there’s another mom close by. Your kids are the same age, you have the same stroller and bag. You want to be her friend. You need to be her friend. Don’t you wish there were mom missed connection ads? Which one would you be?
Mom for Mom – Let’s Share the Morning Grind
You: Mom in grey van, speeding past my house at 9:06 am. Me: Mom in black SUV hollering, “Just get in!” You probably didn’t notice me but I just knew you were rushing to the drop-off line at School #91, same as me. I noticed that your Honda Odyssey was really nice…I think you must be an I-need-a-van-but-I-really-prefer-an-SUV type of mom. When I pulled in behind you I wanted to tell you that it’s only 3 minutes from my door to the school, so you didn’t have to risk speeding over those potholes. I didn’t want to be scolded for exiting my vehicle, so I just watched you drive away. Wanna carpool?
Mom for Nanny – Sitter for Hire?
Me: Mom at The Urban Chalkboard engrossed in my brown sugar and cinnamon latte and hiding behind my laptop while my kids used each other as the canvas for their chalk masterpieces. You: Cool and collected, recently showered young woman. I knew right away you weren’t a mom. You sat on the floor while your charge built a train track…I only saw you check your phone twice. He looks like he should be in school soon…I’m thinking you might need a new job? Let’s talk.
Dad for Dad – Play Date?
Me: Dad at Kids’ Eat Free night at Chick Fil A. You: Dad at Kids’ Eat Free night at Chick Fil A. We watched our kids through the window of the play area with glazed over eyes. How did we end up like this? Let’s share some fries.
Mom for Mom – Guidance Needed
Me: Mom in the preschool hallway wondering WTF to do with twelve new paintings, all with exactly one mark on them. You: Mom in the preschool hallway stealthily tucking your own stack of paintings into the recycling bin. Teach me your ways.
Mom for Mom – See you at Yoga?
Me: Hiding in the back of the room at hot yoga, wearing an old sorority tee and sweats, hoping for a nap. You: cutely dressed but also (I think) hiding in the back. You were checking Facebook during the Sun Salutations. You didn’t laugh when I farted in downward dog. Thanks. Let’s find a new mommy work out.