Today we ventured out as a family and did something that we would do if everything was normal. When someone dies people often tell you that you’ll find your new normal and life will go on. The thing is is that Shaundi was our new normal. With Shaundi gone, everything is back to how it was two months ago. Back to the old normal. She was here for such a short time that we hadn’t even quite gotten used to the new normal. The new normal was a little more stressful and very exciting. The new normal forced us to go at life with a slower pace. The new normal made us reassess our lives and professional goals. The new normal was so new, so different that we were still getting used to it.
Now that we’re back to the old normal, I long for the new normal. I long for the constant diaper changes, for the every three hours of breast-feeding, the time-consuming task of getting three children ready to go anywhere, the art of strapping three children into tiny car seats, wearing a baby while carrying another. I miss all of that. I loved doing those things! They were hard and I rolled my eyes when people asked how I was holding up. It was obvious that I had that new baby exhaustion but I so loved being a mom to my three little girls.
That is the new normal.
Today is the old normal and while I loved the old normal two short months ago, the new normal was just starting to fit.